Finding the Right Help for You

Navigating the world of funeral planning and provider services is like learning a new language. There are many professionals and volunteers ready to assist. Your job is to figure out what you want to have happen, what you can afford, and who you want to invite into your circle of helpers. For many of us, getting a crash course in funeral planning while we are bereaved is probably not going to lead to the most satisfying experience, so the more we can do to learn about who and what is involved ahead of time and make those contacts and plans, the better.

On This Page

• Medical Authorities
• Hospice​
• Funeral Directors/Morticians
• Cemetery & Cremation Staff
• Home Funeral Guides
• End-of-Life Doulas
• Celebrants/Clergy

Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color may encounter barriers in both healthcare and deathcare systems created by discriminatory practices or implicit racial bias. Others face obstacles posed by financial constraints, or lack of physical or technological access to support. It is our hope that the resources of this website equip more families, helpers, and community advocates to eliminate these and other barriers to meaningful and respectful care for the dead.

If you know a professional who might want to learn more about how they can support home funeral families, download and bring a one-sheet flyer to them, found on our For Professionals page.

Working with Medical Authorities

​Depending on where or of what cause a person dies, different medical authorities will be in charge. Anticipated deaths in a hospital or care facility, or under home hospice care, will be overseen by the Physician of Record who will be responsible for completing the medical portion of the death certificate stating cause of death. Some anticipated deaths that occur in the home when not on hospice service may be certified by the deceased's Primary Care Provider if he or she was actively providing medical care. Unanticipated deaths will be handled by the Medical Examiner (ME), called in by the police or paramedics who must be notified in this case. It is the ME's job to determine cause of death. Families may approach ME's with religious concerns regarding autopsy or other invasive procedures, but the decision rests with the ME. The body will be released back to the family after the determination is made. Informing Medical Examiners ahead of time when the family intends to conduct a home viewing is appreciated.

Even though a transportation permit is required only for transferring the body to burial or cremation, there are hospitals and care facilities that are unfamiliar with Washingtonians’ rights under the law. Because businesses can write their own policies, such institutions may have body release protocols in place that insist or imply that use of a funeral services company is required, or that transferring the body back home or to another location prior to disposition requires completion of the Death Certificate. To address this barrier, see How Washington Hospital Staff and Administrators Can Support Washington Families in Caring for Their Own Dead and Sample Hospital Body Release Policy.

Working with Hospice

Hospice staff's primary goals are to support the patient and those close to their patient during the dying time, though bereavement services may continue for 13 months after the death. When someone dies on hospice service in the home, the hospice nurse is notified. The legal authority to custody and control of the body goes immediately to the next-of-kin, not to a funeral director or hospice nurse or medical staff unless body, organ or tissue donation is involved. Be sure to let hospice know well before the death occurs that you are planning to keep your person at home (or bring them to a home or community location from a facility) so they can help make the aftercare smooth for all. They may be unaware that there is no legal time limit in Washington for how long you may keep your dead at home before final disposition. Do not assume that the hospice nurse will continue to care for the body after death, though many are more than willing to help. At the point of attesting to the time of death, any further services, such as helping to bathe the body or hair, are typically offered on a voluntary basis by invitation of the family only.

Working with Funeral Directors/Morticians

You are not obligated by Washington law to use the services of a funeral director. (See Learn the Law.)

Standard Funeral Service or Cremation
Funeral directors, morticians, and crematory operators are licensed by the State to run establishments that deal with care of the dead. To prepare for an arrangement meeting with a funeral director, read What to Expect When Funeral Shopping. The first item on the General Price List is a non-declinable fee. Those bundled in a "direct or immediate" cremation or burial usually cover:

• filing death certificates; obtaining copies for the family; 
• obtaining transit and burial permits; 
• coordinating arrangements with the cemetery, crematory, alkaline hydrolysis, or NOR facility; 
• filing for Social Security, veterans, and insurance benefits; 
• overhead costs and charges for the arrangement conference; 
• preparing notices and obituaries. 

​Blended Funerals
Home funeral families may choose to hire professionals to handle things that they find more complicated, such as managing shipping, completing paperwork, or transportation if an appropriate vehicle is not available. Feel free to exercise your rights as a consumer by shopping for what you are really looking for at a reasonable price.

Funeral Consumer Protection
If you have any complaints about your funeral service contract, and they can’t be resolved by talking with the owner or manager of the funeral home, consider contacting the non-profit Funeral Service Foundation for help with information, mediation and/or arbitration. The toll free number is 1-800-662-7666. You may also find support and information through the Funeral Consumer Alliance, a 30-year old nonprofit funeral consumer protection organization with affiliates throughout the country. Their affiliate, People's Memorial, can answer your questions as well. If you still have an unresolved problem, you can file a formal complaint with the Washington Funeral and Cemetery Board.

Working with Staff to Arrange a Cremation

In Washington, many consumers arrange cremation with a provider who specializes in direct cremation. Whether making arrangements directly for a cremation, or arranging a cremation through a funeral director, consumers generally have to be prepared to understand and/or initiate discussion about some items that may have additional fees:

• who will complete and file the death certificate (a signed version of which constitutes the transportation permit), and obtain all necessary copies (See How to Complete Paperwork);
• removal of materials such as a pacemaker or prosthetics;
• purchase of a combustible container for the cremation;
• picking up of the cremated ashes; 
• opportunity to witness the cremation (for more information on witnessing cremations, see How to Arrange Disposition);
• planning of any funeral or memorial services (some crematoriums don’t allow for services);
• permanent resting place for the ashes, if desired.

Working with Cemetery Staff

Conventional cemeteries are generally accustomed to funeral directors educating their clients about the arrangements they will need to make directly with the cemetery. Purchase of a grave plot is usually handled privately between purchaser and the cemetery sexton, sales person, or other cemetery representative, as is the setting of a marker. Outer burial vaults, if required, are purchased by the consumer from either the cemetery or a funeral home. Grave markers are typically purchased through the cemetery. When making arrangements directly with a cemetery, consumers generally have to be prepared to understand and/or initiate discussion about:

• fees for opening and closing the grave and ongoing maintenance of the grave;
• arrangements for the purchase of an outer burial container (burial vault or liner), if required;
• opportunities to participate in processing with and lowering the body (by hand, if desired), and closing the grave;
• opportunities for other cemetery-based ceremony such as a graveside service, or use of other cemetery facilities;
• arrangements for grave markers and other forms of cemetery-based memorialization.

​Green burial cemeteries often encourage direct contact with families making their own arrangements. They also encourage family participation; their staff will gladly assist you in creating a ceremony or supporting your plans. If you are engaging a funeral director to make cemetery appointments and arrangements for you, the process will be essentially the same as for conventional cemeteries. It is up to you in either case to know what you want and express that clearly to either the funeral director or cemetery representative. In turn, cemeteries operate under bylaws that dictate their policies and procedures, and some have specific guidelines for body preparation, container types, and how the mourners are to proceed on the property. A simple phone call or visit ahead of time will help with your planning.

​(Note regarding military burial: At Tahoma National Cemetery (the only national veteran's cemetery in WA with burial space), graveside services are not allowed. Ceremonies are hosted at the shelter. For more information on Military Burial, see How to Arrange Disposition.)

Working with Home Funeral Guides

Home funeral guides are well versed in ways to assist those seeking to conduct funeral care in their own homes. Home funeral guides are:

• responsible for knowing the applicable policies and laws, procedures and protocols for the time from death to disposition;
• trained to guide families and others through logistics, ritual opportunities, community resources, local products and services, appropriate and safe body care, ceremony design, home preparation, and much more;
• not allowed to charge for any service a funeral director is required to have a license to do. The next-of-kin or designated agent is legally in charge of care and may ask others for assistance;
• may be paid or may volunteer their time. Any payments to home funeral guides are for educational and consultative services and not for funeral practitioner services that require a license;
• not certified because there is no certifying body regulating home funeral guides. Many learn their trade by taking trainings and some have learned by doing.

(To learn more about home funeral guides, go to the National Home Funeral Alliance.)

Working with End-of-Life Doulas

End-of-life doulas (EOLDs) seek to make the act of living out final days in familiar, loving surroundings more feasible for the dying and their caregivers, whether or not they engage hospice services. End-of-life doulas:

• provide non-medical, non-judgmental support to individuals, families, and support teams through education and guidance, sometimes including practical, emotional, and spiritual care;
• nurture, inform, support, guide, empower and comfort;
• provide assistance with life review, legacy work, and deathbed vigil planning when requested;
• ​actively seek to complement medical services, including hospice, by being available during peak need hours for extended periods as needed. EOLDs often work closely with hospice personnel to support the hospice plan of care;
• are hired by the family privately;
• are not certified as there is no certifying body regulating end-of-life doulas (see NEDA Certification Description). Many learn their trade by taking trainings and some have learned through service in their communities;
• typically cease their paid responsibilities when the patient dies unless they are prepared to follow the guidelines for home funeral guides, as after-death care is regulated by the funeral profession;
• may offer ongoing emotional or practical support outside of after-death care arrangements.

(To locate an end-of-life doula near you, check with the local Washington organizations on our Resources page or go to the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance directories. Read How Death Doulas Have Adapted End-of-Life Care Amid COVID-19 for a discussion of how doulas help clients to navigate healthcare and deathcare systems affected by Covid-19.)

Working with Religious Leaders/Clergy/Celebrants

​Religious Leaders & Clergy
Depending on the tenets of your faith, the role of clergy includes support for planning and officiating a ceremony. Ordained clergy are trained to design and perform services, and arrange date and time for use of facilities if you are planning a service in their house of worship. Most clergy accept honorariums anywhere between $150 and $300, though a frank discussion is appreciated. If arranging the ceremony through a funeral home, they may offer to schedule a retired clergyperson and include the clergy fee as a “cash advance” item on the purchase agreement.  

Celebrants
The role of a celebrant is to assist the family or community in preparing a ceremony that tells the story of the deceased's life. Celebrants are trained in how to design ritual and ceremony that is appropriate for secular, interfaith, atheist, agnostic, and the "spiritual but not religious," as well as most religious traditions. Increasingly, funeral homes are training staff members to serve as Celebrants; fees for their services are included in their General Price List. Some religious congregations use laypeople as Celebrants, available to congregants at no charge or by gratuity. Other community-based Celebrants are independent ceremony specialists, charging a flat fee or a sliding scale payment plan.

​(To learn more, see How to Create Ceremony.)

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​Resources and Other Links

FCA Your Funeral Rights
FCA How to Read a Funeral Home Price List
FCA Four-Step Funeral Planning
FCA How to Choose a Funeral Home
​FCA How to Plan a Memorial Service

NHFA Code of Ethics, Conduct and Practice
NEDA Scope of Practice
​NEDA Doula Model of Care
​Funeral Service Foundation
WA Funeral  and Cemetery Board

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​FCA = Funeral Consumer Alliance
​GBC = Green Burial Council
NEDA = National End-of-Life Doula Alliance
NHFA = National Home Funeral Alliance